DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS:

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS:


Two guys were discussing popular family
trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife
before we got married, did you?'

Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her
maiden name?'
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A little boy went up to his father and
asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'

The father replied. 'Well, son, you must
have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
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'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very
carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your
wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband
said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
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A doctor examining a woman who had been
rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't
like the looks of your wife at all..'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But
she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A
Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can
you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York
City?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
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Two Mexican detectives were investigating
the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,' the other detective
replied.
'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in
Juan.
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While shopping for vacation clothes, my
husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten
years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit,
so I sought my husband's
advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get
a two piece or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a two piece,' he replied. 'You'd
never get it all in one.'

He's still in intensive care.
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The graveside service just barely finished,
when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of
lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and
calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'