The missus bought a paperback
down Mumbles, Saturday
I had a look into her bag
'Twas Fifty Shades of Grey.
Well I just left her to it
At ten I went to bed,
And one hour later she appeared-
The sight filled me with
In her left hand she held a rope,
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor
And then began to strip.
Well, fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek,
But Doris hasn't weathered well,
She's eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer,
Then things went from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet
A couple of minutes later,
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominater her!
Now if you knew our Doris
You'd see just why I spluttered,
'I'd spent two months in traction
From our last mad sex', I muttered
She stood there nude, all naked like,
Bent forward just a bit...
So I thought - what the hell- stepped forward
And stood on her left tit!
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out ,
My God, what had I done?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the other one!!"
Well readers, I can't tell no more
'Bout what occurred that day...
Suffice to say, my jet black hair
Turned "Fifty Shades of Grey!"