An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be the wife."