Latest topics | » 5. Lee Meadow Farm Matlock, 11th to 18th June by John Sutcliffe Mon 22 Apr 2024 - 22:03
» 1. Haxey Quays, 9 nights 03/05/24 - 12/05/24 by jolly camper Thu 18 Apr 2024 - 16:29
» 3. Bridlington meet 1st to 10th June by jolly camper Tue 16 Apr 2024 - 16:34
» 4. Bakewell meet, 2nd to 11th June 2024 by Garjanco Wed 3 Apr 2024 - 14:48
» 2) Breighton Ferry, 12th to 17th May by Chameleon Thu 7 Mar 2024 - 2:16
» New Member Hello to all by beerdrinker Sun 4 Feb 2024 - 17:35
» New member by Ambilkate Mon 29 Jan 2024 - 19:33
» RIP Sharon Lomas by Polly Tue 16 Jan 2024 - 21:49
» Christmas greetings by Polly Fri 29 Dec 2023 - 21:35
» Emmisions by rebbyvid Tue 12 Dec 2023 - 13:36
» 6) Xmas meet at Whittingham club, 30/11/23 to 04/12/23 by Ambilkate Tue 5 Dec 2023 - 21:56
» Rally Group Reminder by KSH Tue 21 Nov 2023 - 22:51
» 2024 meets open by jolly camper Tue 7 Nov 2023 - 21:37
» 2023 AGM details by KSH Sun 5 Nov 2023 - 11:14
» 4) Bridlington meet, 4th to 11th July 2023 by KSH Sun 5 Nov 2023 - 11:02
» Techno by Polly Thu 19 Oct 2023 - 21:55
» SORRY by Polly Thu 19 Oct 2023 - 21:49
» Birthday greetings by Polly Thu 19 Oct 2023 - 21:46
» 5) Haxey Quays 29/09/23 to 09/10/23 by graham & dale Fri 29 Sep 2023 - 13:49
» New meet lee meadow farm by jolly camper Thu 14 Sep 2023 - 23:45
» Morecambe by Polly Thu 14 Sep 2023 - 18:58
» 2) The Breighton Ferry, Breighton Selby, 01/05/23 to 09/05/23 by KSH Sat 24 Jun 2023 - 19:56
» 3) Bakewell Rally 1st June to 8th June 2023 by KSH Sat 24 Jun 2023 - 19:23
» 1) Haxey Quays, 21st April to 1st May 2023 by KSH Sat 24 Jun 2023 - 19:11
» Rally Pack by KSH Fri 23 Jun 2023 - 20:42
» Apologies I've deleted pics of fbook group by Ambilkate Fri 9 Jun 2023 - 23:45
» Happy birthday Jolly Camper by John Sutcliffe Fri 2 Jun 2023 - 13:55
» 2023 - Motor-Homers AGM, time and location by KSH Sun 28 May 2023 - 20:04
» Hello everyone. by Ambilkate Sun 28 May 2023 - 19:25
» INFO FOR THOSE ATTENDING BAKEWELL 1stJUNE TO 8th 2023 by Ambilkate Sat 27 May 2023 - 23:17
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dogman
Posts : 461 Join date : 2013-12-20 Location : South Wales
| Subject: Joke Fri 30 May 2014 - 17:06 | |
| Home Remedies 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat, and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink. 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. 5. A mousetrap, placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer. Then you will forget your toothache. | |
| | | dogman
Posts : 461 Join date : 2013-12-20 Location : South Wales
| Subject: Re: Joke Fri 30 May 2014 - 17:07 | |
| ew A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One morning, while still deep in the jungle, the hunter's wife awakened to find her mother gone. She woke her husband, and they both set off in search of the old woman. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight. The mother-in-law was standing face-to-face with a lion "What are we going to do?" his horrified wife asked. "Nothing," her husband replied, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it." | |
| | | dogman
Posts : 461 Join date : 2013-12-20 Location : South Wales
| Subject: Re: Joke Fri 30 May 2014 - 17:08 | |
| At breakfast, the husband says to his wife “What would you do if I won the Lotto?”
I’d take half and leave you” she says.
“Great” he says. “Here £5. I won £10 yesterday! Stay in touch”. | |
| | | dogman
Posts : 461 Join date : 2013-12-20 Location : South Wales
| Subject: Re: Joke Fri 30 May 2014 - 17:08 | |
| A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?" | |
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