whistlinggypsy
Posts : 4766
Join date : 2012-11-13
Age : 80
Location : Southport
 |  Subject: I am going back to work, Bob's Job Application  Wed 10 Jul 2013 - 10:52 | |
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Bobs JOB APPLICATION
This is an actual job application that a 75-year-old pensioner submitted to Bunnings in Burleigh Heads. They hired him because he was so funny....
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NAME:
Kenneth Way (Grumpy (Ooops))
SEX:
Not lately, but 1 am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
DESIRED POSITON:
Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?
DESIRED SALARY:
$150,000 a year plus share options and a Julia Gillard style redundancy package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION:
Yes.
LAST POSITON HELD:
Target for middle management hostility.
PREVIOUS SALARY:
A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING:
It was a crap job.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.
PRFFERRPD HOURS:
1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here'?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:
Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:
I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITON?:
I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.
DO YOU SMOKE?:
On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
NEAREST RELATIVE?:
12 Kms
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes. absolutely. |
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grandadbaza
Posts : 1986
Join date : 2012-11-15
| | Subject: Re: I am going back to work, Bob's Job Application Wed 10 Jul 2013 - 17:06 | |
| That one is the same Bob !! | |
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whistlinggypsy
Posts : 4766
Join date : 2012-11-13
Age : 80
Location : Southport
| | Subject: Re: I am going back to work, Bob's Job Application Wed 10 Jul 2013 - 17:13 | |
| - Quote :
That one is the same Bob !! Don't know what you mean Baza  | |
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grandadbaza
Posts : 1986
Join date : 2012-11-15
| | Subject: Re: I am going back to work, Bob's Job Application Wed 10 Jul 2013 - 18:12 | |
| No photo and the end of the lines of text missing | |
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| | Subject: Re: I am going back to work, Bob's Job Application | |
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