More to make you smile

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Social Security Offices.

‘ My good man,’the fairy said, ‘ I’ve been told by David Cameron to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in England with your wife and seven children – all costs to be borne by the British Tax Payers.'







The man told the fairy: 'Well, in Iraq where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'

The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and…

-- PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!







'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'.






The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder.

'I need a big house with a three car garage on the Coast with eight bedrooms – and a Gold Visa Card in each room - for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in Iraq; I want to bring them all over here.







PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music.







'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.






The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said “I want to be English with English clothes instead of the rags and shawl , and I want to have white skin like the English.'







PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn-out trainers, a dirty Man Utd T-shirt and a greasy baseball hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.'What happened to my new teeth?'he wailed. 'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?'
The fairy said 'Tough luck.

Now that you are English,

You're entitled to Sweet **** all like the rest of us.




And she disappeared.

Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a
lightning-quick kick from a cow... right in his crotch Writhing in agony, he
fell to the ground.
 
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor He said: "How bad
is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena, is still
a Virgin -- in every vay."
 
The doctor told him, "Olaf, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let
it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it on
dere as long as you can."
 
 
 
He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and
taped it all together... quite an impressive work of art.
 
Olaf mentioned none of this to Lena, married her, and they went on their
honeymoon to Duluth . That night in the Motel 6, Lena ripped open her blouse
to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts. She said: "Olaf...you're the
first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez."
 
 
 
Olaf immediately dropped his pants and replied: "Look at dis Lena ... still
in DA CRATE!"